The Recount

MAPLEBROOK COUNTY — A routine recount of last month's county commissioner election took an unexpected turn Tuesday when election officials discovered that 47 ballots had been cast by registered voters all sharing the first name Chad.

"We are not alleging fraud," said County Clerk Linda Tally, visibly stressed. "We are simply noting that this is statistically unusual and, frankly, emotionally confusing."

Background

The election in question — a race for Drainage District Supervisor between incumbent Frank Pipe (R) and challenger Greta Ditch (D) — ended in a margin of 3 votes, triggering an automatic recount. Officials expected the process to take two days. It is now in its third week.

"The Chads are all legitimate voters," confirmed state election monitor Gary Numbers. "They were born, they registered, they voted. The Chads did nothing wrong. This is simply a Chad-heavy district."

The Chads Respond

Several of the Chads were reached for comment.

"I've been voting since 1994," said Chad Burnham, 52. "Nobody cared about my name until now."

"It is a little weird," admitted Chad Willoughby, 31. "But my vote counts the same as anyone else's. That's the beauty of democracy."

A third Chad declined to give his last name.

Legal Status

Attorneys for both campaigns have filed competing motions — one arguing the Chad ballots should be reviewed individually, the other arguing the entire concept of reviewing ballots based on a voter's first name is "frankly insane."

A judge is expected to rule sometime before the next election, which is in November.